You know when

you have an oral exam in the stupidest course ever, and you have memorized the book to every fucking little detail, and you feel that the membrane and the fabric of your brain is very close to erupt in an overload of information, and you come in there, pretty sure that it is going to fly by pretty painless, and you start talking, and your examinator use every sentence you say to put in some invaluable, unimportant, irrelevant comment about what country has Grotthaus(who in and of himself, through three hundered pages with chemistry and history only has one small theory, and STILL you remembered him) as their national chemist? And you go by, and try to weave in as much of the syllabus as possible, to show that you understand the connections and the contexts, and every time you connect people and theories, your stupid examinator just cuts you off. So, in the end, he ends up talking more than you. And then, to top it, he uses ten minutes to go on and on and on about some spelling errors in your semester assignment that you used tons of time on and that ended up not counting on the overall grade, because, your examinator lied to you, and then, just to make everything perfectly fucked-up and irritating and just to hellish to have a name, he tells you to be less enthustiastic.

I simply love kjem 204.

And now it is raining, and you have to go to work and be screamed at by old people, and honestly, you don't want to know your grade because that would just be the final blow in your face and the last acknowledgement about how much time you have wasted, and then, when you collaps in your own body and think that all that is you have died finally and endlessly, you remember that you have two more exams left.

Joy of joys.

And I haven't written for, like, years. And the gym, that is also one of the many examlocations is closed to about half four, because people have their exams there, and I want to run.

And in the end, confronting all this, I catch myself in thinking: why the hell does it matter? Its just grades, and not objective ones even.

I base too much of my personality on being good in school stuff.