Freak out!

Anyone taking buses on like a regular basis has a few alarming/upsetting/horror stories/anecdotes of their own. It seems an inescapable fact that the dregs of humanity linger in the buses, drawn to the cheap décor and the furry seats, it’s almost their natural habitat. It is where they can have sex with their brothers and eat cat food.
It’s like that game where you have to have the chess-pieces and you go through a bus to get to the police station( the one person who got that reference: You are seriously fucked-up!)

So, aaaaanyways.
Here I was, on the bus, a fat man having me trapped against the window and the radiator so my thigh is slowly burned to crispy snacks.
He gets off, in fact, most of the bus gets off because only freaks and women live where I live.
And I, because my legs are as long as other things that are long, like long things, rest my long legs delicately on the set across me.
A freakish, ancient man tells me, shaking and quivering with anger, to get my feet down. I look at him a long time with what I imagine must be my signature shot, like:” Who the fuck are you? Do you really think you can talk to me?!” And I just sort of snicker, sort of evilly, sort of poison green/venom dripping from my fangs sort of snicker and I don’t move my fucking feet an inch!
And then!
AND THEN!
He walks over, sort of a wooden walk because his legs are erased from age and his heart pumps blood only two times a minute, he walks over to the driver and tells on me!
Can you believe that?
It’s so petty it deserves another color.

Petty.

And here is the most annoying part, the fact that I seriously should have freaked out and screamed at him and most people know that if I just open my mouth, the most amazing things can come out( like the new wonderbra) but I just froze!

Fuck!

Shit!
Ass!Penis!


In other news: Oh, who am I trying to kill, I mean, kid. There is no other news!