Another addition to things that really annoy me...

- That horrible Sit-com FRIENDS which once was the rest of the words weekendly mastubatory aid. I mean, it's just so unrealistic. Yes, Joey, you like food and women and you are dumb as hell. Yes, Monica, you are a cleaning freak. Yes, Chandler you are sarcastic.
But who the fuck cares?
Here is a micro cosmos of every FRIENDS episode ever concieved:

INT. THAT FUCKING CAFEE WHATEVER IT IS CALLED - Day

CHANDLER, JOEY and PHOEBE sit and talk.

JOEY
I am stupid. I am hungry. I had sex with a hundered women last night who find my continuously corpulent body attractive. I am starting to become fat, and this is season nine.

CHANDLER
You are just like some famous, fit guy. Except that you are not famous or that you are not fit.

JOEY
(Happy, carefree)
Yeah! I'm a guy!

PHOEBE
I had this dream once I was a guy.

CHANDLER
What did you do? Did you, like, touch yourself?

(For some reason unknown to Man, the audience are now laughing so heavily it creates an artificial, highly uncomfortable vacuum in which the "actors" try to act normal)

PHOEBE
No! I wrote a song about it since this has been a concurrent theme through the series. Shall I sing it to you?

(No one say anything.)

JOEY
Hey! There is a muffin over there... And its held by a beautiful woman! This is my lucky day.
(runs off)

CHANDLER
(Looks disgruntled at JOEY as he leaves the couch, then at PHOEBE, then at JOEY again)
There is a cookie over there... And it's held by a beautiful man...

PHOEBE
Nice try! Now listen:
(sings off beat)
I am a guy. I have a penis. Nothing rhymes with penis, except almosty tennis. I am a guy.

MONICA enteres the cafee and sits down next to CHANDLER. Before she seats she pulls out a blanket with the anagram M.G.B and sits on it. Then she leans to CHANDLER and the two kiss an awkward kiss.

CHANDLER
(to MONICA)
Are you still mad about last night?

MONICA
No. The bed is cleaned up and I am cleaned up. I mean, why did you have to squirt it out everywhere?

CHANDLER
I'm sorry, I will never eat hot dogs in bed again.

MONICA
You better not! You have no idea how hard it was to get out those ketchup stains...

PHOEBE
I once had a dream I was a ketchup-bottle...


I am so wild and free and funky! I sing songs off-beat and have a dead mother who comitted suicide.
Those are my only character traits, and therefore
I am a broadly drawn person who other
people can relate to. It is not clever or challanging or
even honest.
But its television. And it's America.